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When building a network of people to support you, there are various things worth considering:
Find the courage to ask for help, as you will struggle to cope on your own. Do not feel that you will be imposing on your family and friends. You might find that not only are people ready to support you, but that they were waiting for you to ask them.
Rely on support from a number of people, rather than just one person. This could lead to feelings of guilt within you, if one person is carrying all of the responsibility. By finding several people who can support you during this time in your life, you will ensure that you do not overwhelm an individual who might themselves be juggling many responsibilities.
You could enable each person within your support network to bring their particular strengths and skills to the fore. For example a good organiser could plan your schedule, whilst others could prepare healthy meals for you or look after your garden.
You might be fortunate to have many people wanting to support you. However unless you tell them in which way they can help you, they might not be certain what they should do. Decide what help you need and ask for it, for instance driving you to the hospital or someone to accompany you to a social or sporting event.
Whilst family members are essential, friends who might be less upset and frightened themselves, might sometimes be of more practical help. You might also find that people less emotionally involved are able to provide practical assistance.
When attending medical appointments, bring your partner with you. In addition to providing much needed emotional support, they might recall important points during discussions with your doctors.
It is natural for parents to want to protect their children from difficult issues. However if you have children, talk to them so as to help them to cope with their fears and concerns. They will become aware that there are problems and it is better that you talk with them and help them to understand. They need to be reassured that what ever happens they will be cared for.
Whilst we all want to remain positive about our progress, the sad reality is that some people decline to the point where they are no longer able to make decisions about their own treatment. As a precaution you should chose someone who will make these decisions on your behalf, if this ever happens to you. This is not being negative, but taking sensible precautions.
What if Family and Friends Cannot Provide Support
In the modern world many people do not live near to their family and might not have close friends nearby. Speaking on the telephone with family or friends and hearing their voice could help to raise your spirits, particularly when they have a warm nature or can help you to laugh in the face of adversity. Even communicating by letter or email might provide some comfort.
However if you are in this situation there is additional support available.
Confide in your health care professional or a social worker. They might be able to offer you support or put you in touch with a suitable support group.
Cancer Recover Foundation UK can also offer you support:
1. Contact Greg Anderson through the Ask Greg page, who will answer any questions that you might have.
2. You might find some comfort reading about the experiences of others who have generously agreed to Share their Stories.
3. You could join the Cancer Recovery Forum on our Community Website, where you could also read blogs written by some of our contributors.
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